D and Lee’s big pay it forward.

So, I know I said this would be my last blog, but hold that thought. I have to tell you about an experience Dennis and I are having.

TOP PICTURE: Mike Kenn, left tackle from the Atlanta Falcons, and Mike Deluca, the Deluca family owned the R & M Sandwich shop in Downtown Canton and are constantly raising money for some good cause. Tim Ecclestone, hockey player and assistant coach for the Atlanta Flames. In front, a thin, weary, bald Dennis was at the fundraiser to buy him a van.

Many sports stars and celebrities were in attendance that day. If you are wondering why Dennis has famous friends, Dennis is a man of the people. He makes friends with all sorts of people: CEOs, custodians, Neurologists, bartenders, and even the guy who owns the car garage down the street, with whom we trade Moon Shine for tires. No, I don’t think that’s a wise decision, and if I die in a car wreck, give the greasy-looking guy at my funeral the stank eye.

MIDDLE PICTURE: Ayden Brady and Dennis

The bottom picture is the van we purchased for the family, but if you would like to help, we would love to buy them roadside assistance, insurance, etc.

SO,

And in the end the love you take is equal to the love you make"
-The Beatles

This is a very philosophical line in the last song on the last album the Beatles recorded together, Abbey Road. I’m sure many feel it isn’t true and that they have given far more love than they have received. Not Dennis and me; we feel we received more unconditional acts of kindness than we had given, but we try.

When you get past 50, you see the circular form of life. If you are smart, you try to honor that shape by flowing with that shape and paying forward the gifts you have received. In 1999, Dennis’ life was a country and western song, he had sold his retail business because he was too sick from chemotherapy to run it, his wife had left and he barely saw his girls, he was in a wheelchair and needed a handicap van. His friends, R.C. Tillman and Mike Kenn, who played for the Atlanta Falcons, and Mike Deluca and many others, got together and organized a golf tournament to buy him one. When I look at the pictures from that event, my heart aches. That is not the man I love. That is a shell of a man, broken, tired, and barely hanging on. He wanted to exit, he didn’t see a way forward, but he didn’t want to leave that legacy to his family.

Thankfully, he hung on, and 26 years later, he has a wife who adores him, kids who love him, four gorgeous grandkids around, and in-laws who he loves and who are so supportive. The relentless march of secondary progressive Multiple Sclerosis has not slowed. Still, he has accomplished much to better the community through his job with special needs kids, kids with severe behavioral disorders, and his coaching. But there has been something he feels he needs to do for a long time. Paying forward that life-changing gift of a handicap van.

TADA, the perfect opportunity arose: the beautiful Brady family. I will not re-tell it here; I have added the link to their GO FUND ME should you be interested. Working on Ayden’s Angels has pulled us through some challenges and has been a welcome distraction from the heavy things swirling around us and the world. Also, this venture into fundraising has taught me so much.

• The saddest thing to accept was if people have told you how generous they are, they aren’t.
• Some of the most generous people are those who don’t have much, and they give, and they give with great joy, quietly
• Good people (the Bradys) and attract good friends. The notes from people helping were beautiful and heartfelt.
• Some people have a policy of “we don’t donate.” OK. I can’t force anyone, but I’m pretty sure someday they may need grace, and if they get it, I hope they change their policy of no compassion. One person responded on my GoFundMe, “Great another Beg Fest.” This is where we in the South apply the saying “Bless His Heart.” which can mean, “Oh God bless his little soul; he must have a real hard life to be so hateful. Let’s put him on the prayer list.” or “Bless his heart, he’s going to fry up right nice like bacon from one of Mama’s farm cows when he goes to hell for all of eternity for being such an unkind misery.”
• Most people want to help others who genuinelly need support, like 70%
• If you are going to do this, you can’t emotionally invest or make judgments too much on who donates what.

When planning this fundraiser sine people said to me, “do you really think you should take this on, you have so much on your plate already. You are always dealing with disability stuff.” That is exactly why we wanted to this, we understand better than most what the Brady’s are going through, we feel a kinship with them. I understand the physical and emotional strain of taking care of a whole other human body, and Dennis suffers the pains and indignity of being unable to move and feeling like your brain is floating in a cage. We have done something to help them feel seen and alleviate some of their burdens. In return, we feel useful and part of a community that has shown us love. We are thrilled to pay forward our blessings.

Is there something you are overdue to pay forward? Have you removed yourself from the circle of life out of disdain and pessimism?

That’s it for now chickens, I just wanted to remind you of one prescription for handling tough times and stress. In the words of Jason Myraz, “If you’ve got the poison, I’ve got the remedy.” Well, not me. It’s ancient wisdom, we just need to keep repeating it to for each generation.

Back in a bit with my real, that’s it, there is no more of this blog, for sure, bye-bye sugar,

Ayden’s mama Vanessa, Little Abuela, Ayden, Me, and Dennis in an Ayden’s Angels T-shirt.

Love Auntie Lee-Lee